![]() ![]() You can either click on it or press the appropriate number key, which is much faster, and soon becomes necessary since you'll be under time restrictions. Choose your off-beat surgical implement from a menu at the top of the screen. The game will give you instructions as you play, but the gist of it is this. If it sounds totally stupid, or gratuitous cartoon violence bothers you, you should probably skip this one. If that made you chuckle, or if you're already a fan of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming line-up, I think you'll enjoy Amateur Surgeon. One of your patients is a man who has attacked himself with a nail gun in order to sue the tool company. And your operating surface is a bloody pool table. Instead of surgical stitches, you use a stapler. An open laceration needs to be stapled shut. An object stuck in a wound is your cue to get out the tongs. A dashed yellow line means you need to select your pizza cutter and draw along it. Your job is to follow the exact requirements of each surgery as quickly and as accurately as possible. The gameplay is wide open the same way ducks are eloquent. These are the enigmas of Adult Swim's Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon, a cartoonish and casually offensive entry into the simon-says-surgery genre made famous(ish) by Atlus' Trauma Center. Who is this mysterious hobo? If he was once a successful surgeon, how did he fall so far? What secrets hide in the underbelly of this corrupt and vicious city? Why are everyone's mouths drawn so big? Convenient pizza cutter in hand, Alan obliges, directed at every step by his patient and new mentor. Open him up, drag his ribs into place, and sew him back together, easy as pie. The fallen vagrant urges Alan to perform emergency surgery on him with whatever tools are handy. One day, while distracted by thoughts of doctorly fame, Alan smacks his delivery van into a staggering hobo, shattering the poor man's rib cage and inadvertently launching them both on a new and fateful career path. Alan Probe is a slovenly pizza delivery boy obsessed with pipe dreams of becoming a master surgeon. (Warning: This game features excessive cartoon violence, adult themes and potentially offensive language.) Update: 3rd and final chapter now available to play! ![]()
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